Originally Written for the Westside Way on 3.15.05
Try to put yourself in this story. You have been happily married for over twenty-five years. Life is pretty comfortable. You have been living in the same house nearly your entire marriage. In fact, your mortgage will be paid off in just a few years. Your children are not children anymore and they are leaving for college this year. Your career has been fruitful, and you have made a difference in people’s lives. You have done your part and retirement is now within reach. It will be a nice change of pace. Because you have been fiscally responsible over the years, you will be able to live out the remainder of your years modestly.
Now this is where it gets a little sticky. One day you go to a doctor’s office for a routine check-up. While at the clinic you strike up a conversation with a woman (we will call her Vicki) in the waiting room. She tells you the story of an infant that has just been left in her care as a result of a difficult family situation. Vicki is planning on taking care of the baby until other arrangements can be made. Feeling God’s leading, she expresses to you an immediate dilemma. She has an unavoidable, previously scheduled engagement tonight and will not be able to take the baby with her.
Your son and his friend are sitting on the couch watching TV when you walk in the door. You feel somewhat foolish and scared, yet faithful and obedient. Before they get a chance to see the bundle in your arms you say, “I have an interesting story to tell you.†As you explain the situation, a look of shock comes over your audience.
This story does not end with you helping this child for one night. No, you feel called to faithfully continue to support this young child. Vicki, you and your spouse feel called by God to love this child for life. Vicki decides to seek custody after already having raised her children, and you release your financial future into God’s hands in order to help support them. You do not retire when you had planned or pay off your mortgage when you thought you would. But now you have a critically important relationship with a child who needs you. Fifteen years later, your compassion and willingness to sacrifice for this teenager is unwavering.
(The above story has been modified to protect identities)
I remember that day when my good friend and I were sitting on the couch watching TV when his mother walked in with that baby. I remember the sacrifices they made to pay for the legal bills as they helped Vicki seek custody. I also remember thinking that they were taking a foolish risk. I don’t think that anymore.
What is it that causes people to be compassionate like that? The first chapter of James gives some great examples of how God prepares and molds us to be compassionate.
James 1 (Message)
“3 You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. 4 So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
9 When down-and-outers get a break, cheer!
12 Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.
22 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! 23 Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, 24 walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.â€
And finally in James 1:27 (NIV)
“27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.â€
My friend’s parents lived out these verses and risked it all to save a child they barely knew. What caused them to do that? I believe it was the result of two people allowing Christ to transform their hearts. And when God’s compassion manifested itself in their hearts, they were able to relinquish control and obey.
I recently read about a study where a minister named Doug Huneke interviewed three hundred rescuers of Jews during the Holocaust. From these interviews Huneke found ten common experiences or characteristics among those who were willing to risk it all to save their Jewish neighbors. The themes from James 1 have an amazing parallel to these findings. The rescuers:
-Experienced some form of being left out, undervalued, or marginalized.
-Tackled childhood problems and worked toward goals.
-Identified with a morally strong parent. (Sometimes this was a grandparent.)
-Belonged to a community or group that valued compassion.
-Grew up in a home where hospitality was valued.
-Were exposed to suffering at an early age.
-Were able to empathize with others.
-Were able to present themselves, speak up, and be persuasive.
-Were skilled at cooperating and promoting the well-being of others.
-Were able to examine their own prejudices.
(*Paraphrased from Growing Compassionate Kids, Johnson, p. 36, )
I share this topic with you because it seems to be a recurring theme and challenge in my life. I’ve also been challenged to consider how a school can teach compassion. Can a school partner with parents to encourage students to live out their faith? Can we help our students develop hearts like their Savior’s for the lost and hurting?
Compassion is not a personality trait. It is the overflow of love that originates in Christ. It is learned in times of suffering, trial, and sorrow. It is learned on a mission trip when we empathize with the poor and sick. It is learned when we are mocked for speaking up for the broken and hurting. It is learned when it is modeled to us by a mentor or parent. It is learned when we see others faithfully risking it all to love the widows and orphans.